You are in bed together…
Passionately in the moment…
Feeling so intimately connected…
And then…
He closes his eyes in order to get to the “finish line”.
What exactly does that mean?
If you are like a lot of women, you might wonder if he’s retreating into a vivid fantasy world. Wondering, is he thinking about another woman?
I’m happy to tell you that his closing his eyes really has nothing to do with escaping from the moment with you and everything to do with actually enjoying the intense sensations happening.
For most guys, they put a certain amount of mental effort toward holding BACK on climaxing during sex. They want to last longer, to please you more, and not race to the finish. So when they actually do shift gears into allowing their orgasm to happen, the physical sensations are powerful. Closing his eyes allows him to fully tune in to what is happening pleasure-wise in his body.
It was explained to me in this way: When you take away one of the five senses, it makes the other senses and sensations stronger and more vivid.
When I surveyed my Man Panel when writing The Language of Desire (and the sexy secondary product, The Sensual Tsunami) about what male orgasm feels like, they set me straight. One man told me: “It’s like a slow-building rollercoaster that takes a very sharp incline almost straight up before you rocket straight back down. And you get this amazing feeling in your stomach right before you climax and then for the next 10-15 seconds the floor drops out and you are drifting in bliss. Then you come back to reality.”
With that kind of intensity, he isn’t even keeping track of what his eyes are doing!
You can also think about it like kissing. We close our eyes when we kiss not because we want to disconnect from the moment but because it actually draws our awareness closer to what is taking place physically. Except when it comes to orgasm, it’s about a million times more physical fireworks.
Could he be thinking about another woman when he closes his eyes?
Sure, it’s possible he’s mentally fantasizing about making love to a Victoria’s Secret model while he’s in bed with you. Just like sometimes you might close your eyes and think about Brad Pitt or Denzel Washington…or whoever floats the little man in your boat. Fantasizing in that manner isn’t a bad thing. It’s totally normal and most people (both men and women) do it on occasion. And it doesn’t damage your relationship when it’s something that happens once in awhile, especially when the fantasy includes a celebrity or someone you aren’t ever actually going to even meet…let alone get naked with.
If you’d like more information about what goes through your man’s brain when it comes to sex as well as in depth information about how to use sexual fantasies to spice up your intimate connection, make sure to check out The Language of Desire.
